Me? · I · haven't · a · snobbish · bone · in · my · body.

I, unlike the esteemed Sara, am too lazy to crosspost. In that case, I invite all of you to check my Tumblr for new posts from now on. Even though most of the comments on my entries are on this LJ, I simply cannot accommodate both LJ and Tumblr. TUMBLR FTW so please comment on that now! 

jeunefille.tumblr.com

This journal has been officially closed. Thank you all for listening.

*DISCLAIMER: written in a rage. rather incoherent. quite a bit of swearing. that SHITSLICE...

There's this girl in my physics class (who shall remain nameless) who completely, honestly and utterly sucks at physics. She doesn't have the worst grade, as I know someone who has a pretty shitty grade but is loads smarter. Thus, driven by desperation, as she seems unable to or unwilling to (most likely the former) complete her own labs, she calls the day before the lab is due to interrogate me. Bitch, please. "I'll call you later if I have anymore questions." - as if you're entitled to my time, effort and sheer kindness and pity? You are a parasite. You could not do half the assignments in class without my help (or any other unfortunate person's help). And that is precisely why I feel guilty when I ignore your calls. There are other reasons too. As much as I like to think that I am a cantankerous individual who won't take no one's shit, I will offer my help to those in need. While I would not consider myself a doormat in any possible way, I fully admit to sometimes letting my desire to remain likable run over me. If people ask me for help, I would probably say yes. But then the degree to which I help them would depend on the circumstances, how I'm feeling that day and whether I like them or not. Either way, if someone asked me for help, I wouldn't say no. That's the right thing to do; I am sure. But then, I don't know WHEN and HOW MUCH to help people sometimes. Such is the case of the Physics Leech. There's actually another leech too, but she hardly ever calls. Still a leech though; I can feel it.

That's the TWELFTH she called today. TEN  ELEVEN TWELVE CALLS IN A DAY. As you can see, the extent of the bolding, italicizing, underlining, and supersizing clearly expresses the depth of my fury. I picked up the first three calls, patiently explaining the basics of the lab and the data I sent her (she's in my lab group). It's like, SHIT GURL you can't do this? Jesus H. Christ. Then I ignored her last six calls. Not that my mom or brother would have let me pick up anyway. They hate her; she called at 10 PM once. ikr?

BITCH. It's not my fault you suck at physics, you goddamn parasite.

My first and only "celebrity encounter". This is Teller :)

December 2008, Dad speaks in Chinese, me in English:

Dad: How was your physics final?
Me: I think I did okay. I hope I did okay...
Dad: Good. What finals do you have left?
Me: Oh, easy stuff: French, Statistics...
Dad: Well, there's an old saying - don't drown in the shallow lakes.
Me: THANKS DAD, SO REASSURING.

OUI OUI I am much too brain-dead so I will blog in un autre altar-ego....l'altar-ego FRANCAIS (desolee, mais the Empress has retired to her chambre pour la nuit)! Je ne sais pas pourquoi, but j'adore this francais thing very, very much. It is tres, tres stupide but then again, je suis brain-dead. I wish there were les smilies, because dans le gmail, there is one with une moustache, which I think is tres tres amusant et tres tres stereotypically francais. And if YOU are going "HAHAHA" right now in that accente that is americaine and vulgare at mon stupidité, I will say only this: PARLE A MA MAIN. You do not know how difficile it is to type in franglais, as I must find les bons mots that all will comprennent, even if they are Philistins who do not speak a word du Francais! I know, tres scandaleux...that there are people, non, des barbares  who do not know le Francais! It is like not knowing how to talk...it is like shopping at Walmart! Alors, I do not wish to discuss this anymore.

I am also tres triste at the fact that I find it easier to blog in ways that are ridiculeux instead of deep, insightful, magnifique! And mon essai pour l'université (la littérature britannique)...je ne sais pas what to write! J'ai le block de writer.

Her Imperial Highness, Empress of Everywhere Stephanie Guo, is announcing a change in her official title. Her Imperial Highness declares that since an Empress outranks a Queen, she is now the Empress of Everywhere. Likewise, Her Imperial Highness is imperial, not merely royal.

Her Imperial Highness would also like to announce the debut of her exclusive Court, the Titled Ones. More are to come (and this entry will subsequently be updated, as Her Imperial Highness is much too busy to blog anything else of substance):

• The All-Mighty Karen
• Super Sultan Sam of Southeast Asia
• Sara the Supreme Sportswoman of Stomach Pen-Launching
• Countess Crystal of California (because she totally sounds like "OMG" and "like")
• Andrew, Archduke of Austria
• Katherine, Khan of Kazahkstan

Her Imperial Highness will like to add that it is possible that YOU may be able to receive a title, but only at her discretion. Her Imperial Highness is very tired, you see, and must approve all and any applications personally. A warning: it is very difficult to be titled/knighted. It often requires some severe begging and often groveling. Her Imperial Highness is not above bribes or favors...as you can see, some of the Titled Ones received their titles by giving favors to Her Imperial Highness, of which she is most eternally grateful. But also, if Her Imperial Highness is in a good mood, you just might get lucky!

That is all. You are dismissed.

SWINE FLU

AHHHHHHH

Swine sound so sinister. swine Swine SWINE.

There was this great "Worst-case scenario" article on Yahoo News. Apparently 30% of the world's population could get infected and 2% could DIE. yes, DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE.

This reminds me of all those zombie books and games and movies I've devoured (no pun intended) over the years. In a way, almost all zombie lore describes the zombie condition as a some sort of virus or infection and involves a good deal of economic/political collapse, quarantine, etc, stuff that's strikingly similar to what would happen if there was a pandemic. Man, I love zombies. Exciting stuff. And there was one flash game called PANDEMIC, which basically allowed you to design your own super virus and try and infect the entire world. I always lost; Madagascar was uninfectable.

I feel really weird for being simultaneously scared and strangely fascinated by this potential pandemic. I wish it'd just peter out and go away, yet it would be rather exciting to observe (far far away of course) the effects of a pandemic if it ever happened. I know, I'm being rather stupid here. But hey, it doesn't hurt to stock up on those water bottles and weapons while you can!

Recently, I was browsing through a blog and found a link to this: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/01/how-to-discover-your-life-purpose-in-about-20-minutes/

Basically, it suggests a method to discovering one's life purpose in approximately 20 minutes. You're supposed to make a list of all possible purposes in your life as soon as they pop into your head, and after 20 minutes (or longer) you will write down a purpose that will make you cry...that is your true purpose in life.

I was skeptical at first, but then I somehow convinced myself that I wasn't actually living a low-awareness life (as the writer so accuses those who take a longer time discovering their life purposes) and that somehow I would discover my true purpose in life in about 20 minutes. So I tried it, confident that I would be reduced to tears and subsequently live my life meaningfully in about 20 minutes, give or take 10.

Not even close. I never even reached "convergence". I ended up writing a long-winded stream-of-consciousness essay and in the midst of trying to raise my spirits and discover my true purpose in life, I depressed myself further. I did not reach enlightenment within 20 minutes; nay, not even in an hour. All that happened was that I was (almost) reduced to tears about the futility of my existence *dramatic sigh*. I admit that I was pissed. I was thinking that I had just wasted 45 minutes of my precious time in trying to pursue this intangible purpose and even became unhappy in the process! Goddamnit, what a ripoff :P

So what does that say about me? Am I a nihilist? Do I really I live a "low-awareness" life, and is that a bad thing? Or am I just a pretentious teenager who whines about everything? I don't know; I'm probably all of those things combined. I initially had a vague idea of my own purpose in life. Other than the obvious biological purpose, I really had no idea if I even had a purpose in life. I always thought about in general terms. Humanity this, humanity that. Never about me. Is that surprising? haha. Anyway...I'm still confused. I don't think anyone really has a specific "purpose" (again, excluding obvious biological purposes). What people think their life purposes are - that's what matters. So in conclusion? I haven't decided my life purpose yet. I tried looking for it, but couldn't find it. Maybe I should just give up searching for it altogether. Even if I had a life purpose, I'm sure it would sound just as contrived and cheesy as the blog author's.

I have never said "I love you" to my mom or my brother.

We aren't an affectionate family (excluding my dad). But my mom, my brother and I never kiss, rarely hug and don't say "I love you." The assembly got me thinking about this, since I remember one girl crying and saying she regretted never saying "I love you" to her parents. If I were to die the next day, there is no doubt that I'd regret not verbally/physically expressing my love for my family. It does seem sad, I know, but it's the truth. It doesn't bother me though. Our love is obvious, but implied. My mother, brother and I aren't the type of people to freely display our emotions, nor have we ever felt the need to. Certainly, I sometimes wonder what it'd be like walking around with an open face and saying "I love you" at the end of every telephone conversation. And yet, it doesn't matter to me. We express our love in other, implicit ways and for us, that's enough.